Devil's Pride (covergrl2005) wrote,
Devil's Pride
covergrl2005

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the note

hey beana thanks for doing that i couldnt take it much longer and i want to die seriouslt i feel like shit and look it i thought i was over it like the crying part but i got on the bus and cried nonstop i did a lil in homerron too. he doesnt no how much i love him an id do anything and everything for him i wanna be there when he falls asleep and i wanna be there when he wakes up i wanna be there when he has a bad ada and i can make it better but im afraid to talk to him seriouslt i took him off my list again iv been talking to Damian he gets my mind off things but towards the end of the convo i got quiet and hes asking if i was ok and we all know im not no on nos how i fee really i really feel for him hard i want him more than anything in the world even a car and well that says it all right there. id give any part of my body up just to be the way it was when we first went out and well im not giving up u dont want to loose him i want him back in my life where i know he wont *ever* get hurt by anyone i will be there to protect him and if sometihng happen where hes really upset i wanna hold him and make tihngs better....out of 8 guys *not including him* i never felt so alice and happy when i was with josh he turned things around somehow i cared for him more than anything in the world nothing ever got in the way of changing that and i dont think nothing will ever change the way i feel about him i just get this great feeling when i talk to him when i seen him that one time i felt safe and relaxed with no worried and i want it all back.. he made me smile everyday i couldnt wait to come home an talk to him... you seen me friday i was waiting so bad to get outa school and you seen me tuesday counting down time to when he came home so basicly out of this hole entire note so far he was the vest thing that *ever* happen to me and this is the truth what im saying now and im gonna tell you the truth about dan...i seen josh was happy and moved on with ashley and i kinda figured that i whsould try it because you know he was happy and all with ash i wanted to find someone thats wen dan came and asked me out so its very simple that i used dan to try and get over josh but apparently as you can see im not..it didnt work..and i doubt it will and me somehow getting into shit with cause of dan wasnt cutting it..it drove me insane ashlee has no and i mean NO right to be doing what she is doing and by josh saying to me that i should stay with dan and if i wasnt happy i shouldnt be with him it hurt me because out of that hole deal he has no idea about the real reason i was with dan and not to mention that me abd nt nin got into a fight on friday that was the reason i couldnt leave the house and i doubt he would even beleive me but who knows and i actaully think your the only one that truely knows how i feel about josh...i called marcie crying firday *nonstop crying* and i told her pretty much she helped but i still sit here crying some of my pain has gone away i been taking ibprophen for the past days like 6 a day and i dont get any headaches from all the crying Damian gets upset when i take em but o well as long as i feel better...it took me 40 mins to write this note and some tears and cant forget the random boxes well since the bells gonna ring in 3 mins and your prolly sick of me crying about this im gonna go buh byes <3 always tiff and ps thanks so much for telling him it really got presure off of me and i love you for that...


that was the note i wrote beana on monday....and yea i broke up with dan but it seems to be a problem..surprise surprise....he asked me if id go back out with him i asked why and he said because he likes me too much..i dont see how im nothing special and he barely knew me you know ugh i cant deal with this and ihs best friends sister that happens to be in my grade was looking to beat me or something but i aint dealing with no pregnant chicks atitude...today other then that shit was cool...me and sis played mortal kombat...i seen her this morning i go up to her i go du du du du fire in the sky slap...an she slaped me an we did that for a lil bit and i go *finish her* an i slaped her an go *game over*..it was fun...and geiger acting like and airplane was like the greatest...he had dificulties and crashed and fell on the floor sis was on the floor laughing so hard and then him trying to fit into a locker i tell yea i dont know where i find these people but hey as long as i have fun and im sure ill remember this...ha chels said i can be a runway model..o but then dan goes and says that i wouldnt be able to walk like one which he has no idea...and jess pokes me in the eye today and lindze somehow hurt me to where i have like two marks on each hand and sean bit me...i was abusive today..but it was all good...im gonna go **peace**
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